Lesson 1: Reflecting on the Past, while mapping the Future ....
Ten years ago I was diagnosed with Cancer. They told me it was the best type of cancer to have, but regardless it changed my life. After the surgeries and the very aggressive treatment plan that I was cancer-free. I was happy but shocked, in the same breath I was told I could go back to my old life. That was the real tragedy. During my illness, I had a wonderful support team. Friends, family and professional personnel who helped me through the physical and psychological traumas of cancer. Then one day I was free. Free from cancer, free from death, free to be me. And free from my 24-hour support team. Yes, they were still there, but I was cancer free and to everyone, I had the opportunity to go back to living again. The hardest thing for me during this trial was going back to the way things were. I was never the same again. At that moment, it was the worst thing I could think of, possibly even worse than the cancer itself. Change. Everything was changing, and I didn't know where I fit in anymore. Over the past ten years, I have met people that have impacted my life, thanks to cancer. I have made decisions that have greatly enhanced my quality of living, thanks to cancer. I have changed and was able to create the type of journey that could inspire not only myself but hopefully help others when the skies are gray, yes all thanks to cancer. I had people get upset with me when I say I am grateful for having cancer. Let me clarify, I am not grateful for the pain, the hardships or the hurt that cancer caused. I am not grateful for what it did to my body and the after effects of the treatments I choose to use to get rid of the cancer. I am not grateful for the hours of sleep lost because of worry, tears or pure fear. These and so much more, I can never be grateful. However, what I am grateful for is finding the doctors who could care for me in the best possible manner. I am grateful for finding professionals who understood that being 28 years old and being told they will have to slice your neck open is not a light decision. I am grateful for the support, the love, and the compassion from friends and family. I am grateful for the chance to know myself better, as I learned how truly strong I can be. I am grateful for the intimate relationship I now have with G-d. I am grateful for all the gifts that I can enjoy with a greater sense of patience and appreciation. When people ask me, yes, I am grateful for cancer, because yes it changed my life in so many ways. But it also allowed me the opportunity truly live a life that is amazing. In celebration of my tenth anniversary of being cancer-free I am embarking on a journey. The expectations of this journey are unknown, all that is known is that I want to share it with you. I want to help others who have been given that second chance to make the most of the gift. I want to help others reclaim a life worth living by sharing my journey.
“Reflect upon your present blessings --
of which every man has many --
not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”
- Charles Dickens
